Homecoming

I had been home from the hospital for a week and the first couple of days I was almost going stir crazy because of Emily, she was constantly waking me up making sure I was still alive and breathing and hadn’t slipped into a coma. I know she was just doing what the doctor had requested of her but it took her five days to realise I would be fine and I was returning to work soon.

“So when are you planning on talking to the boys?” Emily questioned as she walked over and joined me on the couch where I was currently curled up watching a movie.

“Why should I? One of them hit me Em.”

“I know this Tay but they both feel incredibly guilty because of it, we don’t know which one of them exactly hit you. You were drunk, for all we know you tripped and fell into one of their fists.” I narrowed my eyes at her and she laughed. It wasn’t actually that farfetched because it did sound a lot like me.

“You shouldn’t push two of the most important people in your life out because of this one accident, if you pushed people away that easily then Jake wouldn’t be trying to win you over.”

“You know those two are acting like I’m a prize?”

“Well essentially you are,” my eyes went wide and my jaw dropped staring at her. “Oh come on, those two are fighting for your attention. They want to win and have you as theirs and no one else’s, they hate having to share and now they both know they’re sharing you with each other. You know as well as I do that you wouldn’t be a trophy wife, they also know that. They just want you.” I looked away from her.

Before that night I was beginning to think maybe I was getting closer to working out what exactly it was that I wanted, but now after what happened between Jake and Dom, I had no idea.

“They both love you,” I scoffed.

“Dom doesn’t love me, he loves sex.” I replied before focusing back on the T.V.

“Not true, turns out he hated how he let you leave like you did but he wanted you to be happy. He regrets letting you go home with Jake that night when you first met Jake, he’s always loved you. It’s why he willingly let his best friend’s girl have an affair because he was in love with said girl. He couldn’t lose you to Jake, especially when he knew you weren’t completely happy with Jake.” I slowly turned and stared at her, what the hell did she just say?

It was then I was having trouble breathing, my heart rate had picked up and I felt like I was suffocating.

“Breath, slowly. In and out, lean over and focus on your breathing. Just in and out,” Emily spoke soothingly but it wasn’t helping, I was still slowly suffocating.

We sat there in silence while I tried to calm down and it slowly happened, my breathing returned to normal and my heart rate lowered.

I looked up at Emily and I could tell she was worried, “thank you.”

“You’ve never had a panic attack before, what happened?”

“No idea but how do you know Dom loves me?” I questioned, putting aside the panic attack. I just wanted to find out how Emily knew this.

“I spoke with him when you were talking to Jake, some things were said. Tay both those guys love you unconditionally, you can’t push them away. You need to move past this and talk to them and figure out what you want so they can know, either pick one of them or none of them. They deserve to know, they don’t deserve to be strung along, this has gone on long enough.” I shook my head.

“I could have died Em or don’t you realise that?”

“No I do, you don’t understand how terrified I was after receiving that phone call from Penny, she couldn’t tell me anything aside from you being taken to hospital in an ambulance. I had no idea what was going on and I was terrified I was going to lose you.”

My heart broke at the sight of tears appearing in her eyes, she was my best friend, my sister and the only family I had left. Both of us had lost our parents and I had lost my little brother while we were at college, our parents were all in the one car together heading out to visit us and they died in a car accident, some at the scene and the others in the hospital within the next 48 hours.

Within the space of two days my entire family had been ripped apart and broken because of some drunk driver, the only family I had left was Emily and nothing would break us apart now.

“I’m sorry you went through that again Em,” I leaned over and hugged her.

“It’s fine, you are still here and that’s all that matters but you really do need to talk to the boys.” I nodded and pulled away from her before leaning over and picking up my phone to send a message.

We need to talk.